What is POFP?

Why do lawyers refer to long documents as briefs and
18-year olds as infants? Why do they use so much Latin when so few of their
clients are Ancient Romans? Is it a conspiracy?

Party of the First Part has the answers! Check out the Website for the
Legalese Hall of Shame; a glossary of legal words linked to Adam Freedman's
columns; tips on writing legal documents in plain English; and more!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Hello, Earthlings!

This weekend marks the 60th Anniversary of the UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico. According to reports, at least 35,000 UFO enthusiasts have descended on Roswell to celebrate.

POFP was there to celebrate with them. Not literally of course, but who else can provide legal lingo for our next close encounter?

Metalaw is the branch of law governing the relations between humans and other intelligent races. The field was launched by the late Andrew G. Haley in 1956, at a time when movies like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Man from Planet X fueled the popular feeling that flying saucers could land at any moment. Its founding principle is called the Great Rule: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them” – which is the traditional “Golden Rule” rewritten to accommodate the fact that aliens may have different preferences from humans.

For the most part metalaw is a theoretical exercise, but the United States did enact an Extra-terrestrial Exposure Law in 1969. UFO enthusiasts charged that the purpose of the law was to keep ordinary citizens from contacting aliens. In fact, it was nothing more than an administrative regulation giving NASA the right to force returning astronauts to undergo a quarantine period. The law does at least provide a handy definition of extra-terrestrially exposed:

. . . the state of condition of any person, property, animal or other form of
life or matter whatever, who or which has:
(1) Touched directly or come
within the atmospheric envelope or any other celestial body; or
(2) Touched
directly or been in close proximity to (or been exposed indirectly to) any
person, property, animal or other form of life or matter who or which has been
extra-terrestrially exposed by virtue of paragraph (b)(1) of this section.

The regulation even provides a hypothetical illustration of what persons might be forced into quarantine: “if person or thing ‘A’ touches the surface of the Moon, and on ‘A’s’ return to Earth, ‘B’ touches ‘A’ and, subsequently, ‘C’ touches ‘B’, all of these – ‘A’ through ‘C’ inclusive - would be extra-terrestrially exposed.” Which is why, before shaking hands with a stranger, it always pays to ask “have you been away from Earth lately?”

Metalaw is an offshoot of the larger discipline of space law, about which you can read more (much, much more) right here.


LRH said...

New Mexico really should be the first state to add metalaw to its list of official legal specializations.

Adam Freedman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adam Freedman said...

Stranger things have happened - the International Bar Association is looking into how soon we can grant robots "human" rights.

Nano nano, etc.

Anonymous said...

cheap wedding gowns,
discount bridal gowns,
China wedding dresses,
discount designer wedding dresses,
China wedding online store,
plus size wedding dresses,
cheap informal wedding dresses,
junior bridesmaid dresses,
cheap bridesmaid dresses,
maternity bridesmaid dresses,
discount flower girl gowns,
cheap prom dresses,
party dresses,
evening dresses,
mother of the bride dresses,
special occasion dresses,
cheap quinceanera dresses,
hot red wedding dresses

Anonymous said...

replica Watches
replica Watches
replica Watches
fake Watches
knockoff Watches
replica Rolex Watches
replica Breitling Watches
replica Cartier Watches
replica Omega Watches
replica Tag Heuer Watches
replica Bell & Ross Watches
replica Panerai Watches
replica IWC Watches
replica Patek Philippe Watches
replica Chopard Watches
replica Gucci Watches
replica Corum Watches
replica Montblanc Watches
replica Jacob & Co Watches
replica A.Dunhill Watches
replica A.Lange & Sohne Watches
replica Alain Silberstein Watches
replica Audemars Piguet Watches
replica B.R.M Watches
replica Baume & Mercier Watches
replica Blancpain Watches
replica BMW Watches
replica Breguet Watches
replica Burberry Watches
replica Bvlgari Watches
replica Chronoswiss Watches
replica Concord Watches
replica D&G Watches
replica De Witt Watches
replica Dior Watches