DC Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff has tossed out Judge Pearson's $54 million claim against the Chung's dry cleaning business. The case was all about words.
Pearson claimed that the words "Satisfaction Guaranteed" posted in the dry cleaning shop means that the cleaner must satisfy the whims of each customer -- or faces massive lawsuits. But the judge held:
"A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands."
Which is, incidently, a great example of a tautology: a hypothetical reasonable consumer wouldn't use an unreasonable interpretation. Of course not, he would use the Judge's interpretation. No matter, it got the job done.
As for the Chungs, they say they have no hard feelings and that Pearson is welcome to patronize their shop any time. Come, come be reasonable!